about the call...

No. We haven't gotten it. We haven't even become obsessed with getting it. Afterall, we've only been waiting for it for about 5 weeks (or our whole lives- but that's another post entirely.) I think we're coming to grips with the fact that it's actually going to happen though.

Thursday night I had my first referral call dream. I really have no idea how I'll react to this call (besides utter elation). I don't know if I'll scream, cry, be calm....I really don't know. I've read a hundred "the call" stories on other blogs and I guess I just picture Ross and I in those stories because I don't know what ours will be like. In my dream I was walking into the grocery store when my phone vibrated showing the 817 area code. I knew it was Kristin (our caseworker) and I tried to play it cool. "Hi, Kristin." "Hi, Renae- I think you know why I'm calling." And then I'm just sobbing. Big, shoulder shaking, glorious, ugly cry. Don't remember anything else. Who knows if that's how I'll react. And then on Friday I called Ross with something unimportant and when he didn't answer his work line, I texted him something nondiscript like, "call me when you can." So he starts calling me and I'm in my boss's office and don't answer. When I called him back 5 minutes later he said his heart was beating out of his chest wondering if we had a referral. Hmmm- so I suppose I should follow those texts with "PS- not about a baby."

I guess it's becoming a bit more real to us- someone actually is going to call us and refer a sweet little one to us. How about that? And I have to admit, I was really thinking we'd have a fast referral (don't you hate it when wishful thinking becomes realistic in your mind?) And honestly, we still might- I mean we haven't been waiting long at all. But seeing others waiting several months for a referral that I would assume would come quickly is forcing me to be a little more realistic. And I'm ok with that. I can rest assured and be grateful that it's not in my hands.