Feeling more blessed than ever...

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

The difference a year makes

A year ago today I wrote this post. We had been on the waitlist a week and we were so excited to find out who our little one was. I wouldn't have believed that it would be almost 6 months before we saw the face that would change our lives. We have been home almost a month with Miles and he is adjusting really well. Ross and I are starting to get the hang of this whole being responsible for a child thing! We certainly aren't experts, but we haven't left him anywhere or forgotten that he sleeps down the hall. Our days are full of playing, shouting, Miles learning English, Mommy trying to decipher Amharic from toddler babble (who am I kidding- I can't tell one from the other), reading stories, and sweet toddler sugar! That has to be one of the best things- how affectionate he is. Lots of face grabbing and kissing and "I lo lu" throughout the day. We all still have a lot to learn- but we're so thankful for the journey of this past year.

Our Thanksgiving was a blur. It was a great day- and so hard to believe that Miles was at the table with us- but it went by too quickly. We are really looking forward to celebrating Christmas and Miles' 2nd birthday in a couple of weeks.

Here are a few pictures from the past few weeks...

being a ham


Meeting Great Grandparents for the first time


Wearing a mask at the Doctor's office just in case we came back with TB


with Daddy on the Christmas Train


with Mommy


Merry Christmas!

Party of three

We're home and adjusting well! Getting used to having a toddler hasn't left much time for blogging about our trip so I'll share how our very talented friend captured our homecoming.

Mulls

Much Ado About You

Several months ago I was perusing the internet and came across a blog I thought I'd love just by the name of it. "Confessions of a Paper Freak." I am a paper junkie. I love cute stationary, invitations, etc. When I arrived at the most recent post however, it had nothing to do with paper. It had to do with adoption. I was excited to have found another adoption journey to follow- and was also excited when I saw the adorable calendars made by this "paper freak." Maybe this was more than a coincidence!

Emmy made herself a calendar a few years ago when she couldn't find just what she was looking for. And they were so cute that her friends wanted one, too. And then their friends wanted one. And then her full time job became hand making these works of organizational art.

A while back Emmy was looking for a few people to spread the word about these calendars and I immediately volunteered. They are unlike any calendars or planners I'd ever seen- so I wanted to show them to you all. They come in three sizes and are personalized with your name, initial or monogram. Each one also has a place on the front for a favorite photograph in case you'd like to personalize it even more.
I have the Haley (shown below) and I love it.
I'm also a big fan of both the Delanie and the Savannah.



They aren't just adorable but practical, too. Mine is the standard format which offers month at a glance pages as well as pages for each week, but other formats are available as well (student academic planner, teacher lesson planner, or appointment book). I just wrote Miles' first pediatric appointment in mine- can't wait to add play dates! They are a great idea for a Christmas gift, for yourself or a friend. Take a look at all of Emmy's wonderful designs at Much Ado About You and enter RM10 in the message to seller at checkout to save 10%!


PS- Return to Ethiopia in T minus 3 days!!

He's yours.

He's yours. The sweetest words issued from the judge in Ethiopia.

He IS ours. And we are his.







Miles Amanuel, you are such a gift. We can't wait to bring you home in a couple of weeks and love you forever.

we passed!

We passed court in Ethiopia today! We will be loving on our boy in less than a week!!

hoping for Monday!

There was a minor delay with our case...hopefully it will be resolved Monday!

no news is....good news?

We didn't hear that courts officially opened today- but since we didn't hear that they didn't open, we're hopeful that they did and that our date is still on schedule for Thursday! Thanks for praying!

sweet updates!

We are officially less than a month away from boarding a plane to Ethiopia! Ross and I are in disbelief about how close we are. We were prepared to wait a lot during this process... it's just so fun that we are hopefully almost finished waiting. Each day that passes lately brings a bit more preparation. Gathering humanitarian aid and getting that packed, making sure Miles' room has the essentials, wondering how to toddler proof our house, etc.

Last week we had an awesome update day. My sweet blog friend Layla is in Ethiopia for a month right now doing a rotation for medical school and went to visit our little guy. She took him a picture of us, and this is what she said:

"I have pictures for you that I so badly want to send, but the internet out here is so slow that it won't let me attach the files to an email. So you will have to take my word that Miles is way cute! He LOVED the picture. I gave it to him and the caregivers told him it was mommy and daddy and he started kissing the picture (I had it laminated so it would hold up better). Then I was trying to take some pictures of him and the caregivers took the photos away and he started crying! I got a picture of his angry face then! They gave it back and peace was restored! I can't wait for you to meet him! He is precious! And you will see by the pics that he is well-loved and has more toys than he could ever play with there!"

To say that I was wearing a permagrin for the rest of the day would be an understatement. That was such sweet news. And later that same day we got a new picture and an update from the in country staff that stated what a big and silly personality our little guy was showing. And the picture - possibly my favorite to date- his head is thrown back and he is just laughing such a big laugh. Oh I can't wait to find out what that laugh sounds like!

So lots of friends are asking what happens before we go. The first thing that we're praying for is for courts to reopen as scheduled on September 28th. Last year they decided to stay closed a week longer. If that happens our court dates will likely need to be rescheduled. The next thing that we're praying will go smoothly is our first court date on September 30th. We aren't present for this one- but we have to have a letter approving our adoption by MOWA and Miles' birth family has to appear to officially relinquish him. My heart is heavy just typing that. Please pray for his family that is involved. I can't imagine the emotions wrapped up in that day for them. If that day goes smoothly then we will be headed to Ethiopia 10 days later.

We still haven't officially decided where we're staying and we haven't finalized our airfare either- but that will come together. We're traveling with several other families and we're looking forward to getting to know them all. Such an awesome experience that we will all be sharing!

In the meantime we are staring at pictures of him all of the time imagining him here with us! I can't show you how adorable he is quite yet, but check out the big grin...

Lately...

I’m back from my month long blog hiatus. It was not intentional, you see. I am just keeping myself quite occupied preparing for the cutest little fella to come home! His room has been painted- furniture put together, room décor still in process but we are having so much fun getting ready for Miles.

Travel
I’ve contacted a couple people who can assist in booking adoption travel. This whole two trip thing- not knowing if you’re actually going until a week and a half before hand thing- is a bit overrated. I can look at flights but don’t want to book of course until we know we’re going those dates for sure. Or is it cheaper to book now with a nominal change fee? Will prices be much much higher if we’re booking 10 days before we are traveling? Should we book directly with the airline? Where will we stay? I wish I had those answers… I’m working on getting them! (Feel free to enlighten me in the comments section with any advice!)

Emotions
I’ve had a couple of days of crying tears of joy at the drop of a hat. I don’t know when it’s coming- but I will all of the sudden just feel so overwhelmed with the blessing of this sweet boy and the journey we’ve been on that lead us to him. It’s just been such a process- so many times each step just feeling like we’ve checked something off of the list- that when I think that in less than 2 months I will have him in my arms- I absolutely cannot deal with that much joy without erupting!

Life as of lately
I have been back to work for a couple of weeks now. It's pretty easy to go back when you love what you do but I won't lie- knowing that in a couple of months we will be headed to Africa makes it easier as well! Ross and I have been working on Miles' room like I mentioned- and we've started to pick up a few things for him here and there. Target had tons of cute clothes on clearance so we brought a few things home. I love seeing cute clothes and picturing him here running around in them. And pajamas are the stinking cutest of all! We spent a weekend celebrating my brother and new sister in law as they said "I do" a couple of weeks ago. It was so great having our family in town for the fun. And I spent a glorious weekend away with a few of my favorite girls- and what I mean by glorious is that we spent most of the weekend in our pajamas in the hotel room catching up and watching movies. It was lovely.


The countdown is on... 50 days until we should be headed to Ethiopia!

Court date!!!

Kristin called this morning with our dates! September 30th is the first date and if all goes well we will be in court October 12th! We're so excited!! More soon...

Updates

We received an update from Gladney today announcing the dates for court closure for the rainy season. Courts will close August 6th for a couple of months. The email said that it's very likely no more families will receive court dates before closure. We anticipated this so even though we'd like to love on our little guy in person- and as soon as possible- we feel prepared to continue to wait a little while longer. He's getting some great lovin' from sweet families who are traveling to bring home their little ones as well as our friends who are in Ethiopia for the summer. (We can't wait to be able to do this for other families someday!) This means that the earliest we'll be traveling to Ethiopia will be sometime in October or November. We're really hoping to have him home with us by his 2nd birthday which is Christmas Day.

Also, we've decided to name our little guy Miles. We will keep his Ethiopian name as his middle name because it is a part of him and in case he'd like to go by that at some point. I found this picture yesterday. It's from my surprise birthday trip to the beach. We were still two months away from receiving our referral but we had Miles on our mind. We still didn't know if we would be blessed with a boy or girl but we both felt like little boy Miles was in our near future!

Sweet celebrations

This is certainly the summer of celebrations! In the past few weeks we've attended 2 weddings and a shower - our baby shower actually. We've gotten to see old friends, meet new ones, and see family who we don't see often enough. This is our intermission as we have several showers for friends and 3 more weddings in the the next 3 months! It's that season in our life I suppose!

Emily's wedding was first- and I am sad to report that I have no pictures to share! The photographer has a couple thousand, that are wonderful, but too hard to "borrow" and show off to you. Emily is one of my first friends. We met in preschool and spent the next 20 + years having sleepovers, taking dance, driving to voice lessons together, attending proms, etc. Lots of fun memories with that girl. She and Dustin are a great match and we're so happy for them.

Sarah got married last weekend- she is one of my BEST friends from college. She is an amazing photographer- many pictures on this blog were taken by Sarah. When Sarah met Ryan and began to tell us all about him we were so sure he was the one God made for her! Ashley sang at her wedding and rocked it out- made me cry it was so beautiful! Here are a few snapshots of that day...







Last weekend we had our first shower for our sweet boy. Surreal would be the word. Ross's aunts' hosted the beautiful lunch for us and those ladies know how to throw a party. It was gorgeous and delicious! Our little guy was blessed with so many fun things to help us prepare for him! He's the only missing piece! I definitely failed on the getting cute posed pictures of everyone there, but here are a few of the food and fun...

the excitement of the last few weeks...

I can't believe it's already/only been 3 weeks since we saw our sweet little man's face. I say that beacause it feels like we've known that face forever but I remember finding out all of the details like it was yesterday. Suffice to say we're smiling fools anytime anyone mentions him or we talk about him. We've shown our pictures of him to everyone who wants to see them or even pretends to want to see them. I've only passed them off through one drivethru- but it was at the bank and we go to church with the teller who was on the other side!

The weeks since our referral have been probably the busiest of my work year...which has kept me from constantly googling toddler toys and obsessing about the next step in the process. Things are about to slow down which will give me quite a bit more time to do all of this- and more.

A few days after that all important phone call we picked up a few things to send in care package to the little guy with a traveling family. They've been in Ethiopia over the past week getting to know their son and were able to drop off our goodies. We sent a cute little outfit, a small basketball (we were told that he loves rolling and kicking a ball around) and some pics of us. It's so great to know that things that we touched and were in our home are now in Ethiopia with him!

We got some more great news this week not directly related to our adoption but news that will impact orphans and kids who need some love- here in the US and in Ethiopia. The ministry that our friends the Posts started and we jumped in to help with a year and a half ago, Make Your Mark, received our non profit status. This opens so many doors for spreading the word about what we do and ways people can help. It all started with loving on some kids without much here in the Charlotte area, and is spreading to helping street kids and orphans in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We sent the Post family off to Ethiopia yesterday about 4am. They're spending two months there this summer preparing to spend there lives there. Our website went live, too! http://www.mymministries.org Check it out!

Not only will the Post family be in ET most of the summer but so will 2 other families that we're close to. The Hendersons are going in just a couple of weeks for their court date for their twins and the Rhodes family will hopefully travel at the end of July to bring their new son and daughter home. There is such a sense of joy spreading throughout our community right now for families that only God could create! I of course would LOVE to join our friends at some point this summer for a court date of our own but we'll see what God has planned. He knew the perfect time to reveal this blessing to us, and He knows when we need to bring him home. But this waiting mama is praying that it's soon!

REFERRAL!!!

Today was the day!

After a lunch meeting I was running some errands for the school and on the way back my phone starts vibrating. I look down to see 817 and just couldn't believe it... I answered cautiously excited and heard Kristin (our caseworker) on the other end. She pretty quickly told me she was calling with our referral to which I replied- "are you kidding me?" Seems funny that I said that- that would be the worst joke ever- but she replied that she really did have it and asked where Ross was. I told her that he was at work- and that I'd call him right away and call her back. When I called him he was on the other line and asked if I could call him back in a five minutes. This is hilarious to me now but I said yes.

I was close to home and figured I could try not to risk wrecking while I continued to drive. As soon as I hung up my sweet friend Carmen called and I just blurted it out to her. She screamed for a good bit while her sweet daughter (adopted from ET as well) looked at her like she was crazy! I told Carmen that I had to call Ross back and hung up. When I called back I just said, "Baby, it's time! Come home!!" To which he replied, "are you serious?" (apparently we both think that this is a joking matter) and then said he'd head our direction. I called Kristin back when I got home and told her I would call her as soon as Ross made it home.

Carmen was the only one who knew at this point so I called her back, we freaked out together, and she prayed for us. I changed clothes a couple of times, paced a lot, but the time passed pretty quickly. As soon as Ross got home we called Kristin who answered immediately (bless her!) and we spent some time learning about our little guy. He is 17 months old- born on Christmas Day 2008! He is beyond precious and we are thrilled that we get to be his parents. We were so humbled to learn what his life has been like up to this point but we really feel that is his story to share- not ours, so we'll be keeping those details between the two of us.

The rest of the night has been spent celebrating. We called and shared our news with our family and Jennifer and Jared met us at Walgreens to pick up our pictures and see their nephew! Ross had to run an errand to a drop something off to a student he is mentoring- so Jared and Jennifer drove me to a friends house (where I was planning to be for the evening) for a surprise going away party for a friend. I was tackled on the sidewalk by my sweet friend Laura who was hosting this party (and assured me that everyone would want to celebrate this too). I told the guest of honor and she insisted we share the news with everyone. The ladies who hugged me tonight are some of my dearest friends- some I've known for a short while- others for years and years. I didn't make it past the doorway without bursting into tears so Laura grabbed our little guy's picture and took it into the room introducing everyone to the newest member of our church!

We left soon after and met Ross at our favorite Mexican restaurant to continue the celebration. Suffice to say this day has changed our lives! My jaw literally hurts from smiling so much. Our friend Mendy sent the sweetest text message to us tonight- "He was not created to be an orphan but a son....YOUR son." We can't post pictures or share his name until we pass court. But if you live near us or we see you often, be prepared to see some pics of this little fella!

And if you're curious as to now what? Now we wait for a court date in which we'll travel to meet our little guy and say in court that we want to adopt him. This happens anywhere from 6 weeks to several months after referral news. Courts close for about 2 months in Ethiopia in August and September so we're trying to prepare ourselves not to have a court date before then, though we will be praying for the opposite. Once we return from the court trip we will have about 4-6 weeks before we fly back to bring him home. Please pray for the rest of our process to go smoothly! We appreciate your thoughts and prayers so much!

The one where I cried in church

I didn’t think about today being tough for me. To be honest I have felt such a peace about the miscarriages that I have had and the waiting throughout our adoption that I didn’t at all expect it to be tough. And I don’t know if tough is the right word. It was just emotional. Our friends the Murphy’s told their story at church today. Their story of infertility for several years before the birth of their son- followed by several more years of infertility and God closing the door to them for biological children. Several months ago two sweet girls from Ethiopia joined their family. It is such a beautiful story of family and what God has planned for us. I cried some quiet tears- mostly of thanksgiving for knowing he has a plan. And knowing that it’s more than I can imagine. I didn’t expect the lump in my throat as mothers were asked to stand. I didn’t imagine the constant thoughts of the babies that almost were and the one who already is, yet is still unknown to us. I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself I just literally felt like my heart was overflowing with love for my child- the one I can’t hug yet- the face I’m just trying to imagine.

When the service ended and we made our way to the lobby I was fine. And then a wonderful friend greeted me with a hug and unexpected question of
“How are you today? I was thinking of you in there.” And that’s when the tears started pouring out. I couldn’t even explain them and I still can’t- can I be crying out of sadness when I know how grateful I am for this journey? A wonderful couple in our small group found me quickly and gave me a huge bear hug and encouraging words- and then another sweet friend hugged me and told me that she’d thought of me throughout the entire service. I never really felt like I needed that recognition from anyone- that I am a mother with a child who is living and breathing on the other side of the world who I will know soon. But God blessed me with that today- with these amazing people in my life who are willing to walk this road with us- to pray for and encourage us- and to soon celebrate with us. (Poor Ross was busy tearing down after the service and missed the whole scene- lucky for him!)

The rest of the day was fine. I knew I wanted to spend some time reading my bible tonight and just talking to God about this ride. Seeds of doubt were lingering in my mind which they do on occasion (will this actually happen for us?) And tonight when I opened my bible I opened it to the exact spot I did a little over a year ago to the verse that says “Make a large signboard and write on it the birth announcement of the son I am going to give you.”

He is so faithful.

I'm a slack and boring blogger...

I want to post something new and exciting for you sweet (and few) loyal readers of mine but I'm coming up empty! So I'll just fill you in on what's been going on lately with the Mulls.

I'm finding it hard to believe that it's already almost May. Honestly in terms of this school year, I feel like we should be in October. Each year that passes by does so more quickly than the last. Even more reason for us to soak in the daily joys we're blessed with.

It is a crazy time of year at school- graduation is around the corner and the PLC should be graduating about 33 extremely deserving students. Our students overcome a great deal to graduate and that night that we celebrate is one of the best nights of my year. I decided this year to undertake planning a prom for our students, too. Our school is in it's third year so I figured it was time we started having a prom. You wouldn't believe the way friends of mine, and the community in general have come together to make this an awesome experience for our students. Dresses were donated, hair, make up and nail appointments are set- and for free! We're turning the school into a salon the day of prom. Restaurants have donated food- our venue has donated space- it's going to be a great night. Can't wait to spend it on the dance floor with them!

Ross is working on a little boat project. He's been taking some of our MYM boys fishing over the past year and this summer they will be able to do it from a boat and not just a dock. If you know Ross, you know that the boat would not come pre assembled. That's right- a junked trailer has been refinished, an empty hull was purchased, and the motor and other details are coming together one at a time. Instead of calling it a project I'm calling it a custom job. I am excited though because he bought the hull with lots of wide open space for his wife to lay out in the sun and read a book while he fishes.

Wedding season is about to begin. 4 weddings in 5 months starting in June- we're so excited to celebrate with our friends (and our family, in August!) over the next little while.

And just so you don't think I've abandoned my one track mind... we're still anxiously awaiting a phone call. Ou agency's current average wait time is 5 1/2 months. We have been waiting almost 5 months. So we're hoping we're close. Ready to see that sweet face and be one step closer to parenthood.

And lastly, because posts without pictures are less fun- here is my favorite picture Sarah took of us in Savannah a couple of months ago.

still waiting... and some other stuff!

It's so funny to me that as calm as I've been throughout this wait that the last few days I have been SO ready for that phone call! It's like my patience has flown out the window! I still am not losing my mind over it- I'm just ready. It doesn't help that every time I call my husband during the day he answers the phone with "Boy or girl?" I'm prepared to continue to wait of course, there's just been a shift in how I feel about it. And I think it's hilarious that Monday's now seem to be my favorite day of the week because it's the beginning of a whole week when the call could come! Still leaning on God's perfect plan and his impeccable timing...

In unrealated news (wait, did you guys know I could talk about something else?! It is possible! I can't become the person who never talks about anything besides their child when I still don't know who my child is, right?) So my generous and super talented friend Sarah came and took a few pictures of our fabulous Make Your Mark kids for our soon to be up and running website! She also took some for our sweet friends the Posts who are in the process of raising support to live in Ethiopia and work with the estimated 50,000 kids who live on the streets. The Mulls have some pretty cool friends, folks. You know this because if you are reading, you are likely one of them. Here is a taste of Sarah's handywork...

Soon...maybe?

If you'd asked me a few months back if we would have our referral by now I'm certain I would have told you yes. And I don't think I was alone in that according to the guesses on the right of the blog! And even though we would love to be celebrating and showing off the little one's picture right now God has given us such amazing peace that His time is right- and we're so grateful for that. But I'm starting to feel like we're getting close to the call! We hit the 4 month mark on Sunday so it could still be a bit of time, but I'm getting VERY excited to see the little one God has planned for this family! I couldn't sleep the other night and I just kept imagining what his little laugh will sound like. I get so excited thinking about the day that I'll hear it in person..

Catching up!

I am such a delinquent blogger. No real excuses- I just have preferred reading other blogs than writing my own lately I suppose! Where did we leave off? Oh yes, awesome husband was taking me on a surprise weekend away. Here I am at 6am- loaded into the Jeep without a clue as to where we're going. Can you tell how excited I am? I am such a dork. We ended up on Tybee Island, right outside of Savannah, GA. Once we arrived he drove up to a sweet little cottage that honestly looked slightly more shabby than chic but I was stoked! I was so excited to be at the beach with that sweet man for the weekend. He hadn't yet gotten the keys to the place so we headed to the rental company and he smiled the whole way back- I had no idea what he was up to until he pulled into another driveway with a big and beautiful house. I didn't know why we needed a bigger house but it was gorgeous and I was not complaining! We took the top off the Jeep and drove down to the beach for a while. When we made it back to the house 5 dear friends who we don't see often enough were there to surprise me! We spent the whole weekend catching up, eating great food, and singing karaoke (well, Ashley sang and we cheered. Trust me it's better that way). It was bliss. Oh and bonus- my sweet friend Sarah has started her photography business and let us be guinea pigs all weekend. WNC friends check her out- www.soulshinephotography.net Needless to say my sweet husband did a great job!
Here are a few from the weekend...






Since then we've been back home in our routine. Work is busy but good- and the world of adoption has gotten a bit more interesting lately. We're now required to travel to Ethiopia twice instead of once. In the world of international adoption, it's wise not to make too many plans. Tough stuff for a planner like me but God's been all over this one. We will go once for our child's court date and then again 3-6 weeks later once things are finalized. I'm just seeing an extra trip as extra opportunity. Sure it's going to cost us more money- but if adoption was about money then who would adopt really? So this trip will be an extra opportunity to learn more and see more of our child's birth country. We'll get to meet the sweet little one sooner than expected- and even though we'll have to leave them for a few weeks, we will have met the wonderful people taking care of him/her. Plus having trip one under our belt will take a few anxieties out of the way for trip two. We'll know more what to expect from the travel- be a little more familiar with Ethiopia, etc. So we're good! Just waiting for that phone call which is hopefully getting closer. I'm still not on the edge of my seat expecting it any minute- after all- many people who have gotten the call claim it has happened when least expected- so I can't go around all day expecting it can I?! 3 and a 1/2 months waiting today!

time keeps ticking by...

So I guess we're 3 weeks closer than the last time I posted. I finally resolved myself to believing it was going to be a while before our referral and it's working! I'm not anxious- I forget my phone in my office all the time while I'm running around school. I know we're getting there- and that God's timing is the best timing of all. Ross is taking me on a surprise getaway for my birthday this weekend so I've been slightly occupied trying to figure out where we're going. I will be really surprised if I don't find out by the time we hit the road- he is the worst at keeping secrets from me. He always tries to give me gifts the second he buys them because he wants to see how excited I am. Our first married Christmas I'm pretty sure we opened our gifts to eachother on the 23rd because we couldn't wait any longer. Truth be told I don't care at all- I told him that he could take me to a hotel in Podunk (odd how I capitalized that as if it's a real place- I guess it could be!) and just hang out all weekend and that would suit me fine! I'm really enjoying our time together as a family of two. Soon that will be history. We've been the two of us for almost 12 years now (married about 5 of those). I have loved this time with him. I just want to keep enjoying it while we anticipate becoming a family of three...and not wish these days away. I know referrals have slowed down with our agency and hopefully they will pick up before long. Some families have been waiting quite a while to meet their child and I hope we're celebrating (even if it's over the internet) new referrals and court dates soon!

2 months down!

2 months on the wait list today! It’s gone pretty easily so far. Hopefully we’re at least half way to receiving our referral. I have anxious days and other days where I’m sure the call won’t come for a while. All in all things are going well. I can’t help but to think about how this part of the waiting process is the easy part. Once we see that sweet face and start calling our child by name while we’re waiting for a court date-- I think it will be much harder to wait.

We still have a nursery to get ready. We will hopefully start painting soon- the same light green color will be on the walls regardless if our referral is for a boy or girl. My grandmother and a sweet family friend have volunteered to make our crib bedding and curtains so those will be more gender specific. So many people are ready to love this little one! Students at school are constantly asking if there is any news- if we’ve gotten the important phone call yet- it’s so sweet.

Its funny- some days I feel completely prepared and ready- like I could jump on a plane and head to Ethiopia. And then I have days where it hits me- this is really happening! I think because we spent about 6 months thinking about the whole process before beginning that in my mind sometimes it’s still just a process. I was talking to my wonderful mother in law the other day and she said “One day they actually ARE going to call you.” And I thought- Oh my gosh, one day they actually WILL call us! That IS going to happen! It just doesn’t always seem real. I bet it will when we see that sweet face!

I had the best dream a few nights ago that I have ever had. In the dream Ross and I were at church and he went to get our little guy from the nursery. When he saw me he just started running, in the cute, unbalanced toddler way and grabbed on to my leg. As soon as I picked him up he just held on and started giving me sweet baby kisses. It was so real. I can still see what he looked like... big bright brown eyes, a huge smile, and a head full of curly hair. I knew I was dreaming but I so desperately wanted to stay asleep! It was amazing.

But I have to say that part of me is struggling thinking about our child’s birth family, too. At some point this family has had to make an incredibly hard decision not to parent this child. I can’t imagine the pain associated with that- and it seems unfair that what will bring another family such sadness will bring us such joy. I don’t know what to do about that other than to pray for them. Pray that God comforts their sorrow and gives them peace. And that they know this child will be so loved and someday understand what a selfless decision his/her parents made.

about the call...

No. We haven't gotten it. We haven't even become obsessed with getting it. Afterall, we've only been waiting for it for about 5 weeks (or our whole lives- but that's another post entirely.) I think we're coming to grips with the fact that it's actually going to happen though.

Thursday night I had my first referral call dream. I really have no idea how I'll react to this call (besides utter elation). I don't know if I'll scream, cry, be calm....I really don't know. I've read a hundred "the call" stories on other blogs and I guess I just picture Ross and I in those stories because I don't know what ours will be like. In my dream I was walking into the grocery store when my phone vibrated showing the 817 area code. I knew it was Kristin (our caseworker) and I tried to play it cool. "Hi, Kristin." "Hi, Renae- I think you know why I'm calling." And then I'm just sobbing. Big, shoulder shaking, glorious, ugly cry. Don't remember anything else. Who knows if that's how I'll react. And then on Friday I called Ross with something unimportant and when he didn't answer his work line, I texted him something nondiscript like, "call me when you can." So he starts calling me and I'm in my boss's office and don't answer. When I called him back 5 minutes later he said his heart was beating out of his chest wondering if we had a referral. Hmmm- so I suppose I should follow those texts with "PS- not about a baby."

I guess it's becoming a bit more real to us- someone actually is going to call us and refer a sweet little one to us. How about that? And I have to admit, I was really thinking we'd have a fast referral (don't you hate it when wishful thinking becomes realistic in your mind?) And honestly, we still might- I mean we haven't been waiting long at all. But seeing others waiting several months for a referral that I would assume would come quickly is forcing me to be a little more realistic. And I'm ok with that. I can rest assured and be grateful that it's not in my hands.